THE PRINCE OF PEACE

I am not quite sure why I have become so obsessed with the Bible of late. Perhaps it is because of the upcoming mass for Christ, or “Christmas”, as it is more commonly known. Or perhaps it because there are so many people out there shouting at each other about Scripture, or killing each other in the name of God, or misbehaving in some other fanatical Biblical fashion. Nonetheless, I have found myself fascinated, this holiday season, not by the birth of Jesus as you might expect, but by the earliest chapters of the Old Testament. After all, these writings are shared by the three major Monotheistic religions, and though you might have thought they would have brought us all closer together, alas they have not. And I may have stumbled on the reason why.

Our earliest sacred text is the book GENESIS, and it arises from the oral tradition of stories shared around a campfire by illiterate, Iron Age nomads, long ago, in some faraway desert. Why their meanderings and fulminations have so gripped the rest of us is a subject best left to other, more dedicated writers, who have labored long and hard to get our attention, and dollars, in discussing the imponderables of religion. I just want to focus on one small story, one that warrants but a short chapter in Genesis. But it is a fascinating tale: one that I suspect most theologians would prefer to side step, in order to get into the high priced items like the Begats, the Adultery, the Coveting, and of course the hottie-hot, hot Queen of Sheba.

The particular event that interests me is the story of Lot. In case you were sick the day it was discussed in Bible Study, Lot was a nephew of the Hebrew patriarch Abraham, who settled his people in a Dead Sea valley near the end of the 21st Century, B.C. to grow crops and graze sheep. In the order of things, he comes after Adam, Noah and Uncle Abraham, but long before Moses, David, Solomon and the other superstars of the Old Testament.

As the story goes, Lot dwelt in Sodom, which was not far from the neighboring town of Gomorrah. Perhaps the two were an urban center, like the twin cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul. It seems that these ancient cities were legendary hotbeds of sin and debauchery. (Gang rape, say the historians. Sodomy, say the theologians.) Now, it came to pass that this scandalous behavior caused great wrath in the Lord. He was already exhausted from creating the world in six days, and was taking a well-earned rest on the seventh. There is no mention of what He did on the 8th day. But it would appear that He was devoting Week Two of Creation towards supervising the folks he had already placed on earth.

When He began to hear rumors of the nasty business going on in the twin cities, He decided to send down two angels to suss out the situation. (A word about angels. They are men: End of story. This whole girly-angel thing is the work of the Hallmark greeting card people. The big three angels, Gabriel, Michael and Raphael were all men. If there were women angels at the time, they were not used as envoys. This was a man’s job…a position incidentally, that continued on into the New Testament.) Anyway the two angels were sent to find out if there was one good man worth saving in the evil cities. It seems that God wanted this information, as He was threatening to blow them both to smithereens.

However none of God’s plans for the impending annihilation was known to Lot. He was just going about the business of grazing his sheep and growing his crops near the town of, let’s call it Sodom, for the sake of brevity. So I picture him coming home from work one day, when he runs into two guys at the gates of Sodom. I would think that it would have to be at the gates, as these towns were notoriously finicky about foreigners. So Lot runs into these two guys, who were not only gorgeous looking (we’ll get to that later), but were also, oddly enough, shoeless. I can state that with some certainty because angels fly and have no need for shoes. (Witness any religious depiction of angels, and I defy you to find one with shoes.)

So these two angels come up to Lot, passing themselves off as two shoeless Joes. Their undeclared purpose, of course, was to test Lot to see if he was worth saving. It is not likely that Lot was their first subject either. Presumably the two of them had been asking a lot of other farmers and shepherds to offer them dinner and a place to sleep. And in spite of their breathtaking beauty, and arresting bare feet, no one in Sodom offered them so much as a crumb, let alone a place to stay; that is until Lot came along.

“Sure fellas” I can imagine Lot saying. “Come on home with me. I have an attractive wife (played by Ava Gardner in the movie, or maybe it was Yvonne DeCarlo…) and two daughters who can cook up a storm. I am sure we can provide you with a nice cut of lamb, some matzah, and offer you a well appointed place to sleep.” So the three of them trundled back to Lot’s house. I can only guess that Mrs. Lot and the two girls put on quite a spread that night, and treated the two handsome boys with great generosity, and I’ll bet a little flirting. Well, you know what’s it’s like when you have a couple of handsome men showing up barefoot and hungry at your place. Come on. Everyone gets a little flirty. And certainly generous. And in fact, the story of Lot is all about Generosity and Hospitality. That great Gothic Heap at Chartres has an enormous stained glass window with one section devoted to Adam and Eve being kicked out of the Garden of Eden. Juxtaposed next to it, the image of Lot’s welcoming in the two angels, an illustration that the Bible offers both sin and salvation.

Once the dinner was served at the Lot’s, I suppose they all sat around finishing off a bottle of wine. Perhaps there was even a second bottle of wine (remember that this is a story of generosity and what could be more generous than offering a second bottle of your Biblical Best…say, the 2005 B.C. vintage.) Suddenly there was a knock at the door. The unsuspecting Lot, or perhaps one of his servants or slaves (Genesis is rather vague about staff) answers the door.

Lot is dumbfounded to discover that there is a horde of men on his front stoop. Perhaps all the men in Sodom are there…certainly all the ones who had reached but not lost their sexual curiosity. A spokesman for the group steps forward and says, “Hey Lot, wassup?” or some such time-honored greeting. And then adds cryptically, “Send us out these men that we may get to ‘know’ them.” Now the Bible treats the word “know” in one of two ways. Either it denotes the passing of information or it denotes sex. And judging from Lot’s reaction, the horde must have meant the latter. It is interesting to note that many of these same menfolk had already met the two strangers and would have had plenty of opportunity to “know” them behind the city gate, or indeed to offer them a bed so that they could “know “ them within the confines and safety of their houses. But oh no, here they are at Lot’s front door!

It strikes me as a very odd narrative trick, that a horde of men would suddenly march en masse with torches blazing to Lot’s house, and demand to “know” his two guests. This is why I am forced to surmise that the two lads must have been stunners ….oozing not just beauty but total innocence. And I suppose a bare foot suggests a wantonness that a shod one does not. Who could resist?

It does make one wonder though, what the horde had in mind? Did they expect to take turns “knowing” Lot’s guests? Or were they planning on “knowing” them in one mass orgy out on the front lawn? Whatever their plans, Lot was having none of it. And he turned them down flat and attempted to go back in. But the horde threatened him, demanding to “know” his guests right there and then. Well, I ask you, even if Lot was indifferent to his guest’s welfare, I am sure he didn’t want all that caterwauling going on his front yard. “What would the neighbors think?” So again he said, “No!”

Now here is where the story takes a peculiar and indeed troubling turn. Don’t forget that the nomads, who were making up this fable around the campfire, were trying to impress on the other campers the value of hospitality. They saw themselves as moral men, telling a moral tale. And the message in the story of Lot was deemed instructive enough to warrant endless repetition under the starlit desert skies, and eventual inclusion in the Scriptures…that is, when script was finally invented.

Lot says to the men of Sodom, “Listen fellas, I’m not gonna let you ‘know’ my guests, because I am their host, and I am entrusted with their safety. You know the drill.” (Although personally, this strikes me more as a question of manners, rather than morals.) So to sex up the story and to show what a swell host he was, Lot was purported to have added: “I won’t turn over my guests, boys, but I’ll tell you what I can do for you. I’ll let you get to ‘know’ my two virgin daughters instead?” And here’s the kicker. The men turn him down, which will give you some idea of either how depraved they were, or how homely the girls were, or how absolutely delicious the two angels were. After some discussion, none of it given in any detail, the men of the town finally give up and go home. Lot shuts the door, and presumably they all finish off the last bottle of wine, and, exhausted by all the hoopla, go to bed.

I wonder if it was a sleepless night for the daughters, when they considered that their father had so blithely offered up their hymens? Was Mrs. Lot not appalled at her husband’s bizarre act of generosity? Might she not wonder whether she would be next, if the chips were down? How about Lot? Was he worried that the depraved Sodomites might storm the house that night with designs on either his guests or his daughters, or even worse, might they bugger the sheep? No one knows. No one knows either if the angels slept. I am not even sure if angels sleep. I leave that postulation to those that are more interested in the subject than I. I do not share a medieval monks’ fascination with how many seraphim dance on the head of a pin.

So, the next morning when the family gets up, the two strangers finally tell Lot that God sent them down to earth to warn him of the impending doom. In a stunning display of either naivety or faith or both (or are they the same thing?), Lot accepts them at their word, although heaven knows he has never, nor indeed has anyone in town, ever seen an angel before. Perhaps it was the exquisite feet poking out from under the tunic that sold him. Who knows? But the two angels urge him to pack up, grab the wife and kids, and get the hell out of town. There was only one caveat. There’s always a caveat in these stories isn’t there? One of the angels says: “One last thing Lot: Don’t let Ava look back when the cities explode. Cuz if she does, she’ll turn into a pillar of salt.”

And I think we all know what came of that dire prediction. The infamous pillar of Salt! But why salt I wonder? Why not a pile of camel dung? Perhaps it was because salt was a prized commodity in ancient times, as was Mrs. Lot to her husband. Salt was called “White Gold”, since without refrigeration, it was the only way of preserving meats. So Ava was truly “worth her salt.” And arguably more valuable to Lot dead than alive.

And now we have the big Hollywood ending: God rains down burning sulfur on the evil cities…people are incinerated on the spot…babies explode in their mother’s arms…dying dogs whimper under falling debris…a man collapses with is arms outstretched to lift a fallen brother…and…well you get the idea. Lot never sees any of this, however. He daren’t look back, remember. We have no idea who was able to report this shocking display of rage and destruction. This was in fact the first great Holocaust: one that God, and not Hitler, visited on the Jews.

Shocked and horrified by the loss of Ava, Lot and his wretched daughters leave the smoldering ruins of Sodom and Gomorrah, and head into the wilderness. With no sheep and no grain, there would be no fricassee and matzo that night. Lot and the girls were left to wander around searching for berries and whatever else grows in a wilderness. They missed not only Mom, but also all their friends and neighbors…and presumably even the angels, although there is no further mention of the barefoot beauties.

And here is where the story gets really grotesque. I can assure you that not many theologians like to dwell on this thorny incident. The subject, on the other hand, has fascinated baroque painters. (Check out any major Art Gallery and you are guaranteed to see a painting of an old man boozing it up with two half naked young women. But I get ahead of myself.) The two girls wake up the next morning in the middle of nowhere and realize they are never going to meet a man. They would have no husbands. …. and worse, no children. The only man around is Dad. How are they going to satisfy their yearning to become Mothers, and their manifest destiny to continue the long lineage of Lot?

And so it came to pass that the girls, in one of the most horrifying and degrading acts in all of literature, an episode that would have gotten the Old Testament banned if it were not the “Written Word of God.” Scripture, we have come to accept, is rife with stories about human sacrifice, slavery, and fornication. (Although heaven forbid that we should allow that discussion in our schools. Save that stuff for the Church.) So in desperation, the girls decide to get Dad drunk and “lay with” him. (“Know” was apparently what men did. “Lay” was what girls did.) The idea was to get him tipsy enough so he wouldn’t realize what he was doing. (And remember this is the one man in Sodom that God has chosen to spare, which conjures up a vivid picture of the rest of the Tribe.) But the girls did not want him to get so drunk as to be impotent either. It must have taken some fine-tuning to arrive at just the right amount of booze.

And so that night one of the girls lays ON the wine, and then lays DOWN with her father. The next night, she encourages her younger sister to do likewise. And in no time at all, they beget a new generation of Lots, conceived in drunkenness and borne out of incest. Genesis seems to suggest it was only two nights of fornication, but any doctor will tell you that it must have occurred over several weeks in order to get them both pregnant. Which raises the question, how much wine did these girls manage to bring along? And at what point did Lot realize that his daughters were pregnant? And when he did, did he not also realize that he must have fathered their children?

Is there a more horrifying tale imaginable? Are we to believe that in order to isolate the gene for hospitality, God had to accept a little drunkenness and touch of incest in the bargain? His first experiment in the Garden of Eden was a dismal failure, and His next one, leaving the citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah to their own de-vices, had ended horribly for all concerned.

So why include the story of Lot in Scripture? This was not just some drunken campfire chat, like “Remember the time that Jed got crazy with the she-goat?” Oh no, this story was plunked down in the earliest chapters of the written history of the Jewish people and furthermore, deemed essential reading for all Christians and Moslems as well. This is the story that asks the question, is the gift of hospitality worth the agony of child abuse, inebriation and incest? And, more importantly, does debauchery, however vile, really deserve complete obliteration? Judging from the actions of many Christians, Jews and most certainly the Taliban, the answer is a resounding YES! If this is our shared belief, no wonder we are at each other’s throats…..things to consider as we await the arrival of the Prince of Peace!

….from a reading of the Book of Genesis, Chapter 19 Verses 1-36.

© Bruce Gray 2009